her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
