Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
