I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
