I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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