There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
