she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
