bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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