she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
