I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
