she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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