I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
