Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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