You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
