He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
