It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
