somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
