he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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