Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
