You're my little dorito
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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