More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
