Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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