Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
