Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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