I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
