South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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