He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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