This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
