remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
