My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
