She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
