Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
