Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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