I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
