I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
