It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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