the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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