i think my mom watched the whole time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
we should paint friendship bongs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
