If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
