GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
