am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
