we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
