I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
