was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize