Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
