sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
