remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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