I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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