Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
