so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
