We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I need a beard to bite.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
