So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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