yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
