Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
