Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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