READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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