I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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