speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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