To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
