Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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